rituals of habit

There are so many activities that would take on a strikingly different character if only they were undertaken with wide-awake awareness of the impetus, the motives driving them. If I could just awaken to those drives impelling my activity, my behavior, my decisions. Perhaps then I could truly choose. Perhaps then I would only put into my body those things that I truly desire versus those that I blindly crave. Perhaps then I would wash a dish after using it instead of laying it down amidst the rest of the accumulated mess. Perhaps then I would take strides to maintain a modicum of hygiene as opposed to addressing only the bodily needs that cannot be staved off any longer. If I could only maintain an open awareness of the why then the how and when (and even the if) would largely take care of itself. Since I cannot help, at this stage, but act out of dumb habit and helpless conditioning, then I must develop discipline instead.